What Goes up

[seth]

Name of Thread:What Goes up
Characters Involved in Thread: Jess Nichols, Seth Desmond, Raylan Shepard
IC Month Thread Occured: Late June
Brief Description of Thread: Seth and jess fight, Raylan over hears and wealks about when he finds out Jess's husband didn't just get up and leave he died.

---

"Have you thought about this in the least bit or are you thinking with your vagina and not your head," Seth asked before he looked up, she had just come through the door all smiles and giggles and as he lifted his sunglasses onto the top of his head well it did occure to him that he was being the barer of bad news. "Sure it's fun now just like it was with Isaac, he rides in like some knight in chrome and then he's gone with a gunshot wound to the head."

Seth barely had time to push himself up and dodge the wrench that came flying at his head and landed uncerimoniously against the wall behind him before he rolled his eyes. Baby sister was having one of her temper tantrums, not that it was unusual she's always been the one to hurl things when she was pissed then agian it was a trait she'd learned from their father more than anything else. He wasn't going to back down though and not about this, in other words he was going to pull the big brother card and use it to his advantage.

Leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest Seth glared, icy colored blue eyes holding a smirk of amusement mostly because he liked to hurt people one way or the other and while he had hesitations about doing so to his sister it wasn't going to stop him. "So what burying one husband wasn't enough of an eye opener for you or are you trying to be the MC Black Widow with plenty of them under their belt? Wait let me guess," he paused to dodge what he thought might have actually been a spark plug being aimed at him. "You thought that this was going to be more than a fling, give me a break the guy has a swarm of groupies back in Charming all you are is some desert harpy to pass the time," he said before he smirked. "Face it your past your prime and out of your league, I mean what would Isaac say if he saw you throwing yourself at someone."

The last one might have been a bit too much and might have struck a nerve that he hadn't aimed to hit so dead on because the next thing Seth knew there was a screw driver lodged in the wall right next to his head. "Well your aim has certainly improved a whole hell of a lot, to bad your taste in men hasn't changed all that much." Seth countered before he looked over, he hadn't realized until that moment and time that he was in fact yelling at her he'd thought his voice had been calm and somewhat more even than it had been.

"Okay let's not throw anything else and talk about this like rational adults and not tantrum throwing five year olds."

[deb]

At first she had simply walked past him and tried to pretend that he wasn't there but he brother, as much as she loved him, had this way of getting under your skin and pushing buttons until he hit the one that was going to make you throw your hands up and try to bash his head in with a hammer. Taking a deep breath she had been fully prepared to handle the situation with dignity and maturity until he just kept going, hitting at her with everything he could think to hit at her will.

"Isaac is dead Seth and as you so kindly liked to point out when he was still alive he liked to sleep around, then again that didn't seem to bother you all that much. Wait is this because wife number three filled for a divorce and you think that you need to run my life and make me miserable too, my husband died. He was shot to death by Mayan's to prove some kind of point or maybe they just didn't like him I don't know, yeah I said no bikers. Maybe I'm allowed to change my mind, you also said no blondes."

She listened and that was when she threw the wrench at him, more than a little annoyed that she hadn't actually hit him in the first place and it only meant that she was going to have to try harder the next time. Drumming her fingers on the side of the Buick she was fighting the urge to pick the shot gun in the corner up and use it on him the more the talked. If he was trying to make her cry he wasn't going to get the pleasure.

Blinking Jess laughed as she reached down picking up the spark plug before she threw it, and yet she still managed to miss the bastard in the process as well. "Destert harpy, past my prime, black widow, are you listening to the things that come out of your mouth. Better yet do you even care what you say to people, this could be why you have three ex-wives, no one on the force likes you, and the last I checked no one in Charming liked you." She paused before she smirked looking at her older brother, who honestly as one time after their father's death had been her hero because he had stepped up, taken care of their mother, and he'd been a decent human being. "This goes down to poor little Seth doesn't like the fact the Devil Tribe wouldn't take him and Clay wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole, you couldn't cut it in a motorcycle club so you had to become a dirty cop to get your fingers in where they didn't belong."

At first she had planned on stabbing him with the damn screw driver but in the end throwing it seemed to work just as well and meant she didn't have to close the gap between them, and in this instance distance was a damn good thing. "What would Isaac thing, well you know what he probably wouldn't give a damn about what I was doing, but as you've so kindly pointed out he is dead. D - E - A - D and you know hat Seth." She turned around moving closer to him when he made his comment about being adults. "I will see who I want, live where I want, have sex with who I want. I'm not a kid anymore and you will not tell me what to do."

Glaring she folded her arms underneath her breast before she pointed toward the door. "Get the hell out of my shop and don't come back here again or so help me," she stopped trailing off as she tried to collect herself and not say something she might very well regret later on.

[evolution]

Raylan didn't make it ten feet before he turned his motorcycle around. Their kiss had raised a few questions and no answers. While he could have simply came back later, or even the following day, he wanted to know then and now. What he really wanted was to confirm that she maybe had similar feelings to what he was experiencing and that this wasn't just 'a thing'. He hadn't really felt this way since Bailey and recalling that particular relationship, it crashed and burned in the end and he didn't want to go down that road again - not with Jess. As he pulled back up near the garage, he killed the engine and let it drift to a stop near the door. As he removed his helmet and looked at the door he could hear an argument going on.

'...he rides in like some knight in chrome and then he's gone with a gunshot wound to the head.'

Rain caught wind of some of what was said, mainly 'a knight in chrome' and a 'gunshot wound' but since he was still approaching the door some was lost in translation. It was what he heard next that elevated his interest in the conversation.

'Isaac is dead Seth and as you so kindly liked to point out when he was still alive he liked to sleep around, then again that didn't seem to bother you all that much...'

The rest simply fell by the way side as Rain's thoughts began to swirl. Trying to comprehend what was being said only made it worse. Their voices were slightly muffled coming through the door, but their tone was clear. Everything was falling into place for the ex Navy Seal as he recounted the conversation that he participated in with Jessica earlier. It was beginning to pain him to try and continue to listen as he was worried he would hear something that he shouldn't or wouldn't want to hear. The words he heard next were like a cold, hard slap in the face.

'...my husband died. He was shot to death by Mayan's to prove some kind of point or maybe they just didn't like him I don't know, yeah I said no bikers.'

Then Rain remembered. "My old man left one night and didn't come back, never saw him again." In her own way she had told him the truth, but the reality of it was that she told him what she wanted him to hear. Without acknowledging it, Rain found himself walking away from the garage, not to leave but to get away from the words that were now cutting at him. She lied. She had her reasons and Raylan could recognize that, but he couldn't understand why. A dead husband wouldn't have deterred him. However, maybe it deterred her? His mind was racing for answers, grasping at whatever he thought would help resolve the conflict within, but nothing made sense.

Their voice grew louder and the shouting match had grown in intensity and despite the fact that Rain was utterly confused about how to react to the information he inadvertently discovered, he knew he would hate himself if Seth did anything to Jess. Hoping his presence in the room would be enough to diffuse the situation, Shephard entered the garage, diverting his eyes for a fraction of a second at the shotgun by the door, making sure that it was indeed still there and not lodged up Jess' brothers ass. Taking a awkward moment to adjust himself to the tension in the room, Raylan found it hard to keep his eyes focused on the beautiful brunette across the room; all he wanted was to hang his head and leave, but Jess wasn't the only one capable of a lie. "Hey. Hope I wasn't interrupting the family picnic planning?" he said in jest, bring forth a smile aimed towards Jess. "I just, uh, forgot my wallet." he said fishing out his wallet, making it quite obvious he hadn't, but the explanation got him in the room, so it worked.

As he approached the brother and sister, Rain tried to remain neutral and not reveal what he had learned through body language or facial expressions and he had to commend himself for keeping up the facade. "Could I talk to you?" He asked Jessica, then turning his head to face her brother and adding, "Alone." Maybe it was to impose himself upon Seth, or maybe it was to show he didn't give a flying fuck about his badge, either way he was quite serious.

[seth]

Chances were the moment the door opened and Raylan walked in Seth was certian he was more glad about that than what his sister was, mostly because it gave him time to dodge the brunette who had stopped throwing things at his head and was no happy to swing aimlessly at him. Then again Seth had to admit that his looking at her and telling her all this was, was a fling in the desert while things were going down and that she really needed to grow up and stop thinking about life as if she were still a teenage might have hit a nerve. He had grunted just as the large biker had walked in and found a knee wedge firmly in his crotch which was enough to make him double over.

However it had been enough of a diversion for Seth to slip back a few steps and therefore out of harms way, or at least a little father from it. "You have a real problem Jessica, you know I drive all the way up here to make sure your alright and what do I get? Your idea of family bonding which apparently includes trying to kill me, maybe you deserve being up here with the bikers and acting like some kind of wild animal." He dodged again and this time he wasn't sure but the sound of metal clanged against the ground behind his head.

"I'll just leave you two alone for now and let you talk, but remember what I told you. He's a no one, this is a fling to him with some desert harpy. He goes home and he forgets about you, the only one that gets hurt and ends up suffering is going to be you. It's why their all alike and their nothing more than bad news." Seth countered as he started for the door.

As he left he sized Raylan up and made a mental note of what the guy looked like just in case he didn't get the hint about things, as well as ramming him out of his way when he hit the door too just to prove his point about things. The guy might have been big but that didn't really bother Seth, that just meant they fell harder and were funnier to embarass when they did do.

"Night Sis."

[deb]

In life there were moments when you wanted to the floor to open up and swallow you whole and just disappear from sight and reappear on some kind of tropical island or something like that, and yet you know no matter how hard you tried to make the floor open up it never did. Jess was feeling that way at the moment she watched Raylan walk in and while his face didn't show it she knew he had heard most of it if not all of the arguement that was taking place between them. In the end this wasn't how she whad wanted him to find out about her late husband, that had been something she had been milling over explaining in a more tackful way while she threw car parts at her brother's head.

She hadn't lied but she hadn't exactly told the entire truth and yet she could explain that in two simple ways. One, did you look at someone that you didn't know all that well and belt out your deepest darkest moment to them? Two, for the last two years she had watched as people gave her that look and stared her down in sadness and sympathy and she hadn't wanted to see that look in his eyes. Maybe it was selfish and petty of her but she had enjoyed not being treated like the window and actually having someone that spent time with her not because of sympathy but because they wanted too. In an instance though she had to wonder why he had come back and how much of that she had lost because he knew the truth now.

"Don't come back here Seth," Jess called as she watched him leaving, never had she had someone to make her that angry, well alright other than the man with the Buick that seemed to bring it in on a regular basis he ranked right up there with her scum sucking over bearing older brother. Reaching up once she knew he was gone she rubbed her temples before she looked at Raylan and sighed. She wasn't certain what to say now that the room was calm and quiet and she could hear herself think again. Finally she turned around to face him, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Well I see you found your wallet," it was a half hearted attempt to break the remaining tension and lighten the mood if that was at all possible.

"Two years I was married to a man named Isaac Nichols, he was a member of the Devil's Tribe. One night we had a fight, Isaac took off and left and he never came home. Two days later they found him just outside Mayan territory, draped over his biked. He'd been beaten, shot to death, and I'm sure a whole lot of other stuff that no one has ever told me about because they don't think I can handle it." Jess started as she turned gathering up the things that had been thrown as she talked, not because she was upset about what she was saying. No she had come to terms with her husband's death some time ago, but she was still furious at her brother. "Right after he died I swore I would never get involved with another biker again, I didn't want to have to go through that again and then that was up until you." She didn't know where she was going with this and she wasn't sure he was even really listening to her, after all she hadn't been the most honest person. "It was one of those things you say when your angry, your confused, and at the time it just seems like a damn good idea to say it."

Making her way into the garage she put the things away before she looked over the covered trap. "That's why I want to sell, I hate that thing. It's a big, hulking reminder, but I figure someone can get some use out of it so the original intention of lighting it on fire doesn't work." She paused before she turned around so that she could look at Raylan, she didn't like this. She didn't know where she stood now and she was more confused than anything else. "I didn't aim to lie but I've spent the last two years getting that look of sympathy from people and I was just enjoying being with someone that didn't look at me that way. I should have told you the truth at the diner when I felt that spark between us but I didn't, I paniced."

There was really nothing else that she could think to say and well never before had she actually felt so small or felt so bad that she might have hurt someone before and truthfully it wasn't something that she enjoyed feeling either. Not because it made her feel awkward but because for some reason despite not knowing him that well she didn't like feeling like she might have hurt Raylan but not being completely honest. Yeah and yet the floor still wasn't opening up to swallow her whole yet.

[evolution]

Raylan sucked back air through his teeth, his hand drifting towards his crotch envisioning the pain that Seth was experiencing at that moment. As the Charming police officer rattled off a rant about how, Rain prepared to say something in his defense, but instead defended Jess with a witty shot. "Personally. Her idea of family bonding is quite effective." Honestly it didn't make a difference whether Seth heard him or not but it wasn't until the officer began running his mouth about Rain did the biker begin to take offense. Hands beginning to clench tightly into a fist, Raylan's brow furrowed slightly. Out of respect for Jess and what he was about to tell her, he kept his cool and let the man leave. As Seth threw his weight into Rain, the former seal stood his ground like a statue and hardly budged and if anything was amused.

Rain walked back towards the door and looked out the window, watching and waiting until Seth was in his car and on the road. Shephard looked over his shoulder at Jess, seeing how tired she looked - it was just minutes earlier that she was smiling and looking like she was having the time of her life. Her brother just had that kind of effect on her he supposed. "Yeah. It's an elusive little creature." he told her though he knew that she knew he hadn't lost anything and he admitted as much. "I had to come back and see you. I just said that so tool bag didn't start asking questions. Not that it made a difference eh?" What he heard next confirmed what he already heard, but now it was completely out in the open and in more detail then he thought she would give. The way in which she spoke about her husbands murder, it was a surprise to Shephard that she held it together so well.

As she spoke about how she promised herself that she wouldn't date a biker again and how he had inadvertently changed all that, Raylan felt his heart sink. It was never his intention to do that and while he didn't regret the way things turned out, he never meant to screw things up for Jess. "Ya know, I get it. I know why you said what you said, you hardly know me." Exhaling sharply, Rain tried to be the bigger man and simply understand things from her side but the fact remained that she lied and that lie gave him the idea that he might have stood a chance. However the reality of it was, no matter what she told him the fact remained that she lost her husband and Raylan knew he couldn't compete with a ghost from her past; at least that's what he was telling himself anyway.

Following her into the garage, Rain kept his distance and let the brunette continue to speak. When she explained that she liked the way he looked at her at her Rain couldn't help but laugh, more to himself but laugh none the less. "Jessica," it was the first time he had bothered to use her entire given name. "Dead husband or not, you are a tough woman. Sympathy is the last thing I would given you - I want you to know that. But there's something else you need to know." This was the hard part. While he had the intentions of staying for a few more days, to get to know Jess more and help Mirko if need be, after learning what he learned, he felt that it as probably best if he went back to Charming. Again it was something that he thought was for the best, but probably wasn't. "I'm going back to Charming. That call with Clay, he wants me back. There's another member of SAMCRO on his way and he'll be taking care of things." The more Rain thought about what he just said, he kind of felt like Clay didn't trust him with the task at hand, but he was simply over thinking things.

Sighing, Raylan felt his gaze lower towards the floor, simply trying to think of what to say next. "I can't do this to you." Turning on his heel slowly, Rain began to retreat towards the door. He wasn't good with goodbyes and he'd rather not stay to sort things out if he could avoid it. It was cold to react that way, but it was the only thing he could think to do to stop the bleeding that he caused when he walked into her life.

[deb]

I can't do this to you.

She waited until he was gone before she shook her head and then blinked, now wondering if maybe she hadn't been wrong in what she thought. Was it possible her brother had been right and this had just been some sick twisted little game that was taking place, going into the bathroom she had to splash her face with water before she furrowed her brow when she looked back at the image looking back at her. Hell she didn't even know that woman anymore and she wasn't sure she ever had, for a few moments she thought about it before she looked around. She was the only one left standing there and the only one in the garage, there was no one to yell at and yelling at herself wouldn't do her a single bit of good in this instance. Instead as she walked back out into the garage she looked over at the Buick and determined in that moment as she gripped the crowbar in her hand to take out her frustration and rage on it.

It took nearly an hour before she was finished and what was left of it, well the owner would be hard pressed getting the damage repaired and she wasn't upset in the least bit. No she was tired, she was still upset, but at least she felt somewhat better about things. Though in her mind she had now managed to rationalize things as the following. It would have in fact amounted to nothing more than a fling, the ex he had talked about was probably actually his girlfriend who was at home and waiting for him, and in the end she would have been in the same position that she was in at that moment and time.

Her one regret she should have just told him about Isaac and explained what happened, as well as several other things about the man, but that was the past now and if she was able to bury it than she didn't feel so bad. Still what she couldn't figure out as she exited the garage and locked the door flipping the open sign to closed was why did it feel like someone had managed to rip her heart out and step on it. Was there some kind of reason that she felt the way that she did or was she just trying to make excuses for herself at that moment and time, as she got behind the wheel of the car she didn't know the answers and she didn't care. What she did know was for the first time in two years she found herself crying, the tears rolling down her cheeks and she didn't like what she was feeling inside at all. What did you do in moments like that when you had no idea what to say, the world around you stopped making sense and you weren't sure of what was going on.

The answer to that was simple, you got away for a while and just disappeared, cleared you head and then went back to thinks and held your head up even though you were dying on the inside. Maybe she's take her mother on that vacation she had been promising for the last year, in fact that sounded like a good idea. Did it change the fact she was still upset, and not sure if she was angry at herself or who she was angry, no but the idea of getting away for a little while seemed like it was appealing and it wasn't if anyone would really care or notice that she was gone. Backing out of the parking lot she reached for her cell phone deciding that this seemed like one of her better ideas as she started to dial.