Cause I've never had a good thing...

[cole]

Name of Thread: Cos I've Never Had A Good Thing
Characters Involved in Thread: Bailey and Cole
IC Month Thread Occured: July
Brief Description of Thread: The epic and violent reunion of Mr Walker and Ms Monroe

---

Phone Call

Cole closed his phone and slid it in his pocket. He was at home sitting amongst the hell he'd unleashed on his stuff after his fight with Bailey. Broken glass and a smashed up table sat against the walls with the holes he'd made with his fists. Despite the stitches and bandages he had to get after punching in Bailey's car's windows, he still managed to wreck havoc on his own house.

He slowly strummed his guitar with no real rhythm, just glad he hadn't smashed it too. It only took a minute to decide he was going to go confront Bailey. Throwing an extra set of clothes in a bag, he was out the door and on his bike with in five minutes of the phone call. Kicking his bike to life, he roared down the street like a bat out of hell. He'd forgotten his helmet and the wind whipped his hair around but his focus was on getting to Charming as soon as he could.

It took nearly twice as long because he'd had to lose a Mayan that was tailing him and didn't end up making it to Charming till near eleven at night. He got directions from a crow eater to Bailey's place. His heart ached when he left the clubhouse and spotted her car in the garage. His hands unintentionally twitched as though reminding him of what happened. Ignoring them he got back on his bike and left to see Bailey.

He found the place and went to knock on the door, his bandaged hands aching painfully enough he had to stop and use his other hand to finish knocking. He waited and knocked again, he figured she wasn't home as there was no light inside. He sat down in the doorway to wait and hope she was back soon. He didn't count on falling asleep after his long ride. Soon enough his head was resting against the door frame and he was out like a light.

[impala]

She’d been alone for some time now, it only seemed like a natural way to be considering the state of mind she was in and even though she loved Finn, that damn woman was like her rock, a solid, substantial creature who even during the most shittiest of situations always stuck around, not even her oldest and dearest friend could ease her mind about her current predicament. She hadn’t mentioned anything to Finn not wanting to ruin their time together and hoping like hell her stupidity was going to mean nothing this time, a slight hiccup that wasn’t even worth mentioning....ever.

“Why didn’t I make him wear a fucking condom?” She asked herself out loud, smacking a palm against the rental cars steering wheel, a crappy Honda Civic that she’d acquired from Chibs earlier that morning. How had things turned to shit so fast? It was almost laughable that she’d made such a mess for herself, she was a freaking master of shit storms apparently and Cole was the epitome of a hurricane that had ravaged through her, torn her to shreds and left her hollow. She was on the outskirts of Charming, parked up somewhere remote, sitting in the driver’s seat and trying to pretend that Cole Walker did not exist on this green earth at all.

She’d watched hours ago as the sun had descended, the murky, near translucent yellows and oranges fading beyond the hills, taking with them the last glimmers of happiness that Bailey had garnered from hanging out with Finn. She gently placed a palm across the breadth of her still flat belly, trying to imagine what it would feel like to have it swell with a child, wondering just how much she could love a baby whose father had left her in such a horrendous manner. Looking at herself in the rear view mirror she gently rubbed away at the make up on her neck, revealing the marks which Cole had left on her from their love making a few nights ago. Taking in a ragged breath as her heart went tight, she placed her hands over her eyes and with one final breath of calm, finally let it all out and relinquished an animalistic sob. The tears cascaded down her face with an ease that left her face sodden in moments, as if they’d been waiting there for sometime knowing just how badly she needed to set them free. Bailey’s hands held her stomach which only reminded her more of Cole and she placed her head against the wheel, her whole body aching with the need for him.

It was as if she needed him to survive, the last few days she’d felt like a zombie, lacking in anything substantial, her whole life seeming devoid of any happiness now that she knew Cole would never be hers. As her sobs began to subside Bailey’s body still heaving as she fought for breath, her ipod shuffled to a song that all but broke her heart. The rich, melancholy voice of a man who spoke of lost loves and desperation began to float out of her speakers.

“And tell her I spent every night of my youth on the floor, bleeding out from all these wounds.”

She chewed her bottom lip, sitting up, stock still and listening to the lyrics, the tears still dribbling down her face with the same persistence as before, although this time she didn’t have the strength to wipe them away. “God damn it.” She whimpered, turning the key in the ignition and slamming the car into reverse, turning the wheel with a savage force as she slipped into drive and speed off back towards Charming not quite knowing why but just knowing she couldn’t go on without seeing him one more time. It was too bad she needed to pack her things up, she couldn’t bear to think about the wasted moments it would take to gather up her things and as she entered the parking lot of her motel she felt a pull as if she was heading in the wrong direction.

Parking in her usual spot, she stepped out of the car and took a deep breath in, the night’s air chilling the lining of her throat as she wiped away the lingering droplets that still clung to her dewy face. For a moment she didn’t even notice the familiar bike parked up close to her rental but when she saw it her boots nearly faltered beneath her.

“Cole.” She whispered, looking around desperately for him, her mouth involuntarily letting out a whimper of distress. Walking briskly to her room, she felt her stomach flip at the sight of him, asleep and vulnerable at her door, his chest gently rising and falling with an undisturbed slumber.

“Oh my god.” She said, her mouth going dry with an unknowable emotion, her palms feeling slick with sweat as she gingerly made her way towards the boy she loved. And she did love him, simple as that. It was only one night, but it would’ve only taken one moment to fall in love with him, because he was everything and he was the other half of her. She crouched down, staring intently at his bandages, knowing his physical pain was her own internal agony and she resisted the urge to gently stroke a strand of hair out of his closed eyes. Righting herself, she stood up not knowing why but feeling too vulnerable sitting at his level and kicked him gently with her foot.

For a moment he did not stir and she felt a wash of unease cover her skin, she looked around the dark parking lot, wondering if she should say his name but in the middle of her contemplating she saw him stir out of the corner of her eye. Quickly turning her head to him, she found him staring up at her, his beautiful eyes focusing with a calm intensity and then she lost herself, worse than ever before, her whole body sighing with relief at the knowledge that Cole was once again in her presence. The tears had been ready and waiting for this moment and they tore down her face, leaving her with no dignity at all as she cried his name as if it were a prayer.

[cole]

His sleep hadn't been the same in a long time... not since... her. He didn't even remember falling asleep just something hitting him. He'd been dreaming about their night together, every moment a crisp, clear imprint on his mind. He could picture holding her as they fell asleep. The feel of her under his hands, the smell of her perfume, the taste of her skin against his lips.

Then it was taken over by the nightmare of the morning after. The screaming and breaking of things. Fresh waves of pain washed through him, the worst was how it hit his heart. Like a million slivers of glass cutting it apart. He didn't know how she'd gotten to him but he didn't want to be without her. Angry at himself for his actions he had lashed out at anyone that had tried to get in his face the past few days.

His eyes were locked on Bailey as he slowly got to his feet. He half expected her to attack when she cried his name out but he hadn't expected the tears. He wrapped his arms around her gently kissing the side of her head.

"Come on, let's get inside" taking the keys from her hand he found the one that unlocked the door and led her in. Setting her keys on a table he didn't think anything of it when she pulled away. Turning he closed the door before facing her.

"Bailey..."

He didn't even see the fist coming, ironical since she had just popped him right in the eye. Tripping over his own feet he fell back, half on the couch, half off causing him to tip and fall on the floor. Getting up he held his quickly swelling eye as he looked back at her.

"Nice to see you too."

[impala]

It was like every muscles that ached, every joint that moaned, every irregular thump of her heart did all these things out of sheer desperation for the man standing before her. She couldn't really see him through her tears, they blinded her, the thick clumps of her mascara drooling down her high cheekbones, flowing into the corners of her eyes so that all she could see was a fine veil of black as the makeup stung her eyes, producing more tears. Her chest was heaving with sobs and she couldn't catch her breath, it seemed to cling to the lining of her throat as if to tell her death was better than this pain.

"Oh my god Cole." She heaved, sucking in enough breath to gargle out those words, salty tears pouring into her open mouth their taste as bitter as her heart. And then he wrapped his arms around her, his warm, hard body coaxing its way back into her life, a simple hug enough to ease any ailment, any form of pain. She still hated him but she only abhorred him so fiercely because she loved him just as much, for her it was one in the same all tangled and amalgamated into one emotion. She could feel his heart beating, trying to slow hers so that it was once again in time with his, the way it had been when they'd come together that night, their limbs tangled, neither one knowing where one begun and the other ended. "I love you so much." She whispered to herself, hoping to god he didn't hear but needing with a vehement passion to voice the words, to give them sound with her breath, the syllables lulling out of her tongue like a spell.

Her arms were pinned against her chest as Cole continued to hold her and in all honesty she didn't think she could muster the strength to hold him anyway, she felt quite literally weak at the knees as his smell infiltrated her nose and rendered her catatonic with the desire for him. When his lips gently brushed against her head, she knew she was his, forever and always, no one could make her this insane and just waltz back out of her life. Bailey once again allowed him to take care of her, Cole's strong, slightly calloused fingers wrapping around her wrists as he lead her inside.

One foot in front of the other, she watched as her tears continued to fall albeit in less frequency, almost laughing at the fact that she was so fixated watching his boot clad feet step gingerly in order to keep Bailey upright, her whole body weight leaning on him.

And then the flicker of rage, the familiar beast that always seemed to rear its head when Cole was around.

As they entered the motel room the rage eloped freely throughout her mind, tainting her pain, turning it ugly, making it manifest right up until the point where it caused her to lash out at him. Untangling her body, she shoved him back wanting to get a substantial wind up for her punch. She wanted him to feel utter agony, she wanted him to share what she'd been going through for the last few days and she wanted him to know that she was no sniffling, desperate girl. Her bare knuckles connected with the jut of his brow bone, the skin around her knuckles instantly splitting with the sheer force of the impact and she reveled in the feeling, drank in the sharp, shooting pain which tore its way up her forearm.

As he fell, her rage built but she managed to keep it in check trying with all her might to bottle it back up, hoping the dark would ebb its way back deep inside, it was only when he stood back up and gave her a dumb ass comment, so typical of Cole Walker that she exploded once more. Lunging at him, she shoved him up against the wall.

"Fuck you!" She screamed, unleashing a torrent of slaps against his chest. "Where the hell do you get off, I told you how I was, you knew what it would mean to me if we fucking slept together!"

"You knew I'd fall in love with you!" She hollered and then realized herself, heard the words coming out of her mouth loud enough for Cole to hear and abruptly closed her mouth, stepping back far enough to be out of his reach, eyes wide with horror, looking anywhere but at him.

[cole]

Cole didn't know where the anger had come from or the intensity. A minute ago he'd practically had to drag her in the room and then she'd hit him. Wiping his eye he saw blood on his hand but he didn't think it was his and then he saw the split knuckle on her hand. If she wanted to be like that he deserved it, he was just glad she'd gotten it out of the way so they could talk.

When he was finally on his feet the surprises hadn't stopped. She was strong when she was upset and the impact of hitting the wall knocked the air out of him. Then she was screaming and hitting him again. It didn't hurt, he'd been in fights before but knowing it was her tore him apart. He didn't even try to stop her, he just kept one hand in front of his face and the other at his groin in case she went for those.

"Fuck you!"

"Where the hell do you get off, I told you how I was, you knew what it would mean to me if we fucking slept together!"

"You knew I'd fall in love with you!"

The last part felt like he'd been shot in the heart. He hadn't expected those words yet they practically hung in the air wrapped around his face. As badly as he wanted to hold her again, he had the feeling she'd only end up gutting him right there. He wouldn't put it past her to have some kind of weapon on her.

Looking at how she was dressed he wasn't sure where she would hide it. His eyes were drawn to the tight leather pants, the memory of her legs around him causing his heart to skip a beat but he pulled himself away to concentrate on the manner at hand.

"Bailey, I... I don't even know what to say. I came back so we could talk but I wasn't expecting that."

He didn't care if she tore his heart out with her bare hands. Stepping up he gently put his hands around her and gently hugged her. Leaning down he put his lips to her ear so she'd be able to hear his whisper and hopefully know how much he meant it.

"I love you too."

[impala]

"Bailey, I... I don't even know what to say. I came back so we could talk but I wasn't expecting that."

She thought she going to die, quite literally for a moment saw nothing but black as her insides near disintegrated with the notion that he did not and could not feel the same way. It was a horrible feeling to withstand, like someone had paralyzed her and while she was still alive began to slowly and methodically gut her, spilling her entrails all over the floor as she slowly lapsed into a desolate death and yet as she looked at his face she thought that maybe the alternative was better than going on unloved by the man she couldn't fathom breathing without. She touched her stomach and thought that if she was in fact carrying his child - a pipe dream now - she'd love it more than anything on earth, because it would be her only connection to Cole from then on.

For a moment she desperately missed Rain, he had been a constant, he'd taken care of her and he had loved her with the same intensity that she had proclaimed to him. He had never let her down, not once and he'd protected her with a vehement force, Bailey had never felt a moment of pain when Raylan Shepard had been the love of her life.

But then Cole moved towards her, his face unreadable yet breath taking in its simplicity and he wound his strong, firm arms around her body the mere act working like an antidote to a deadly poison. She didn't know why because her brain had not given the orders but she began to struggle as much as she could in his vice like grip, his body pressing closer against her, caging Bailey like the wild beast she supposed she was emulating. His lips descended downwards, the warmth of his breath achingly familiar against her and she couldn't understand how this had all come to fruition.

"I love you too."

The words hit her like a well aimed punch to the gut, it felt like he'd stabbed her and Bailey leant her chin on the arch of his shoulder while her whole body went numb with exhaustion. Cole's grip slackened around her ever so slightly, probably to test the waters, make sure she wasn't guna sock him again and her hands fell limply to either side of her. She took in a deep breath, allowing the words to sink in and suddenly felt whole again - Cole Walker was both the heart attack and the defibrillator.

"Please don't lie to me." She whimpered back into his ear, already placing her lips on the soft flesh of his neck just below the ear, not caring for a moment if he'd only said to the words to placate her just knowing that not being able to touch him was worse . Reaching up her bloodied hand, she grabbed the collar of his leather jacket and slowly eased it off him, staring intently into his eyes as both her hands worked the garment away from him. Throwing it onto the neighboring couch, she gently captured his sullen face in her hands, both blood and sweat trickling from the gash just above his eyelid, cracking its way up to his eyebrow, cutting straight through it like an earthquakes fault line. Wordlessly she coaxed his head down and gently soothed the wound she'd inflicted with tender, soft kisses, slowly trailing her lips down his cheek until she found the man's lips and tasted his warmth as she opened him to her. Placing her injured hand over the beat of his heart, she snaked the other one around his neck allowing her hand to settle on the base of his neck, her fingers tangling themselves in his ragged mane of thick messy hair.

"Cole." She sighed simply between kisses, not really knowing if it were a question, a statement, or a cue for them to stop.

[cole]

"Please don't lie to me."

Cole shuddered feeling her lips on him again. Every night he'd dreamed of them and how badly he missed them. He hadn't even noticed the blood on his face, his mind consumed only with her. He kept himself in check until her lips were on his and he couldn't wait anymore.

"Bailey." It was all he could say in response as she kissed him. All the pain in his body was forgotten as his bandaged hands moved down to her legs, lifting her effortlessly and wrapping her long legs around him. He kissed her feverishly and backed her against the wall, holding her against it with his chest not letting her go. Bringing his own hand up he gently cupped her cheek keeping her lips on his.

His other hand gently squeezing her leather clad thigh holding her close to him. Her body heat radiated right into him making the room seem hotter than it had only a minute before but he didn't care less. He pulled on her bottom lip with his teeth before pulling it back to look her in the eyes. He'd never felt this way about anyone and he never wanted to feel it about anyone else. She was his own personal brand of heroin and he was sure he might have died if he hadn't seen her soon.

"I promise, it's no lie. I love you Bailey, only you."

He carefully turned and sat on the couch with her on his lap, their lips never parting. His hands moved to hold her hips as his tongue brushed across her soft bottom lip. If she looked she'd see the want in his eyes, the way his hands shook craving her touch and how intensely he kissed her as though separating would kill him. His hands slid under her again, squeezing tightly as he stood his body right against hers. He carried her to her room and laid her on her bed. Stepping away he turned and shut the door.

His hand stayed on the doorknob, his mind filled with nervous thoughts about what he was going to do. His want for her drove it all away as he turned to face her. His eyes dark with an animalistic hunger as his eyes roved across the woman in front of him. Practically tearing his shirt to get it off, a passing car's headlights quickly glinting off his scarred chest as he moved towards her. Crawling on the bed he leaned down and kissed her passionately once more.

"I need you..."

[impala]

As he carried her to the bedroom she knew they would not be vacating for some time, Bailey looked up into his eyes and knew she was home. He was the epitome of her world, the epicentre that she would always rotate around and she forgot about every past lover, every single hurt or painful memory, nothing mattered nor ever would again because Cole had engulfed her and she belonged now and forever more to him, because they were the same soul just separated and placed into two different bodies. There was a story that she’d read about when she’d been a child and used the library as a safe haven from her unhappy family life back in New Zealand. One day she’d pulled a large, leather bound book from the top most shelf of the mythology section, for some reason the book had fallen out of her hands landing with a thud on the floor. She had only been nine at the time and as she crawled back down the step ladder to pick it up, her eyes caught the words ‘soul mate’ and she couldn’t help herself but to carry on reading. The chapter itself elaborated on the myth generated from Plato’s Symposium where human beings originally had been made up of four legs, four arms and a single head with two faces. However Zues the ruler of Olympus and the high Greek God, feared the human’s power and split them in two, condemning them to a fretful, arduous and agonising life of searching for their other half. At the time Bailey hadn’t quite understood why she’d felt so ill with longing but now she knew, because the feeling was gone and the only reason for that was because, after so long, she’d finally found the other half of her.

He laid her on the bed tenderly, but because she was the other part of his soul she knew there would be no more tenderness after that moment, it had to be bruising, it had to painful because the only way to express just how very much one couldn’t survive without the other was to show just how much their bodies could feel and withstand as their two broken souls finally came together, their jagged pieces slipping together like puzzle pieces. Even as he turned to close the door she felt sick without him, her body already beginning to open for him as she looked upon his perfect physique knowing it would always belong to her. Cole ripped his shirt off and she moaned loudly when he revealed his sleek, muscular torso, the sharp curve of his hip bones only adding to her lust as his jeans rode dangerously low nearly exposing the beginning of ‘him’. When they’d first made love she hadn’t been able to actually admire him properly but knowing what she did now she drank him in like a alcoholic taking his first shot and as his eyes swept hungrily over her body she propped herself up on her elbows and spread her legs seductively. When a beam of light pierced through the shitty, moth eaten curtains she for once thanked God for how crap the place was because it allowed her to see her favourite feature on him – the jagged, ugly scar and it made him perfect for her, one because her own flesh was mangled and broken and two because it showed her how human he was and how close she’d been to losing him before they even had a chance to find each other and Bailey knew that she would kill, with bare hands, anyone who tried to take him away from her again.

"I need you..."

She growled, low and guttural at the back of her throat when Cole said those three simple words and crawled his way over to her, kissing her with an animalistic rage she wondered how anyone before Cole could have mattered. “I need you too, god damn you.” She hissed through gritted teeth, grabbing the mop of hair atop his head and wrenching his face away from hers, looking deep into his eyes before she teasingly traced her tongue along the inside of his lower lip, scrapping at times his bottom row of teeth.

“I want you rough, I want you to show me exactly who owns me my love, I want you to leave a mark so everyone knows who your old lady is.....I want to feel everything.” She begged, squeezing him with her thighs, a proper squeeze with her natural brute strength. Bailey knew what she wanted, knew that she was going to get it and she couldn’t want anything more beyond that notion.